Pre-High School Drama
Why does it have to be so fucking difficult?
This Substack is about life in Việt Nam from the viewpoint of a 11-year immigrant who spent his first 60 years in a low-context culture.
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Where do I begin?
In the U.S. and many “First World” countries, where you live determines what schools your children attend. Housing in the best school districts is, therefore, more expensive than in the lesser-quality school districts.
In Việt Nam, the school you attend is determined by the location of your family’s homestead — the address of the property where your name is listed in the Pink Book1 or, if your family does not own property, where you are registered with the police2. When H and her mom were living with me in various houses around town, H never changed schools because she is listed in the book at her grandparents’ property, which is now ours.
One friend of mine is living (illegally) in an apartment where the owner refuses to register them with the police because they don’t want to pay the fees/taxes required of landlords. Her children, therefore, are unable to attend school. The 15-year-old stopped attending school at Level 2 (second grade) and is now so far behind, she will likely never catch up. Her son should start school this year, but cannot. It’s beyond me why someone would let their children fall into this bottomless pit, though once I said my piece re this, I shut up.
Which high school?
In May, H finished Level 9 and graduated from middle school.
At some point, H and the other 9th graders took a high school admissions exam. This determines which of the three area high schools each child will attend.
With a twist.
In addition to the exam, each child is asked which school they would like to attend. That’s fine, if it’s a data collection tool. According to H’s mom, it sets up a penalty for the 14-year-olds who aspire to a school for which their test score is insufficient.
They’re 14, FFS!
I taught H to aspire to be her best self, so she said she wanted to go to Bui Thi Xuan (BTX), which is the best high school of the three for which she’s eligible.
Facts:
Last year, a score of 36 got you into BTX.
H scored 37, so we felt sure she’d get her wish.
Unfortunately, this year the cutoff is 38.
That put H at the top of the scores for the second-best school, Đống Đa (ĐĐ). It also means she’d probably be in the top tier of students, grade-wise, for the next three years.
But wait, there’s more!
Please note that the following is the explanation her mother gave me, so it may be a bit off. Or more than a bit. I hope it’s completely wrong.
It will help your coming confusion to know that H’s cousin got 34 and will go to Đống Đa because she answered the question “Đống Đa”.
Things H’s mother told me; veracity unknown:
If a student picks a school above that for which they qualify, as H did, they are penalized two points.
Now H’s score is 35.
Logically, even with an after-penalty score of 35, H should be headed to Đống Đa with her cousin.
BUT, the Đống Đa cutoff for penalized students is 36, so she gets to go to Yersin, the worst school. Note: From what I’ve seen of Yersin students around town, at least the ones who wear school jackets, it’s what my mom would’ve called the juvenile delinquent school.
I will do everything in my power to see that H does NOT go to Yersin, no matter how much I have to pay in “coffee money”.
Think about this…
They ask 14-year-olds to tell them what school they’d like to attend.
The system penalizes them for aspiring to a better school than their score allows.
The after-penalty cut-off for ĐĐ is 36, which means the pre-penalty score had to be 38 or better.
A raw score of 38 would’ve put them in the top school, BTX, making the penalty part moot.
IF H had scored 38 — good enough to get into BTX — but chose ĐĐ, she would’ve been assigned to ĐĐ.
It’s a fucking lose-lose!
H’s cousin scored three points (8%) lower than her and goes to a better school.
In what world does this make any sense???
Recourse?
I don’t know if there is any.
“It’s Việt Nam”, so there’s probably someone who can “fix”3 this if we offer a sufficient amount of coffee money. H’s mom says she’s on it, though I have no way to know if she is actually doing anything. When I ask, the dragon comes out and I don’t get an answer I can believe.4
If it were up to me, I’d be camped out in the city’s Education Department office until I got an answer. Since H is not legally my daughter, I have no standing, so no one will talk with me.
This is all very frustrating.
Alternatives?
Sitting and wringing my hands is NOT my style. I started to brainstorm alternatives:
What CAN I do?
The best I could come up with that wouldn’t land me in prison was find another school.
My first thought was that we (H, her mother, and I) would all move to the U.S. so she could go to school there. I called my sister and she said one of the best high schools in Ohio is 30 minutes from her in Mason.
I looked at apartment listings and determined that the inheritance I got from my mom would just about cover three years. A bonus would be that H would be able to apply for citizenship after 3.5 years.
H and my sister love each other and had a great time together last summer, so I thought H might go for this.
The second alternative was closer to home. MUCH closer.
There are International high schools in Saigon and a Singapore Vietnam International School in Nha Trang, all of which would be better for H than even the best local school. Nha Trang is four hours away from Đà Lạt, so it’s close enough to come back frequently to visit.
I emailed the school and they replied very quickly. The web site and the phone conversations looked and sounded promising. I made an appointment for us to tour the school this coming Wednesday.
If she goes to this school, it would cost me more than 400 million VND (US$15,200) extra per year — school fees and renting a three-bedroom apartment in NT — over what I will spend if she goes to a local Đà Lạt school. It would also mean living in a city that’s hot af and lousy with Chinese and Russian tour groups.
I think it would be worth it, though, because she would graduate much better prepared for university or whatever comes next for her.
Now all I had to do was get H to agree to consider it.
Undermined again. Or is it “still”?
H’s mother and I had agreed that this would be a big step for H and that we would present it to her together — as an option, not a must-do. She told me that she thought it was a good idea, but she was worried about the money. I told her I have it covered and we’d be fine. As someone who taught “people skills” and negotiation for almost 30 years, I had a pretty good idea how I could get H’s buy-in.
We were supposed to talk with her this weekend. Unfortunately, her mother thinks only of herself and told H about it when they went to the beach with relatives. H came home mad as a hornet and, before I could say anything, yelled at me that she wasn’t moving to Nha Trang and that I couldn’t make her. It was hard to determine what her mother had told her, but she completely blew it.
Whatever it was, I doubt H will listen openly to anything I have to say on the matter.
When I asked her mother what she said, she would only tell me that it wasn’t her fault.
I already knew that, because nothing is ever her fault, even when she’s photographed with her hand in the cookie jar.5
What’s next?
The Singapore School’s term starts on 10 August, so the subject is probably dead for this year.
She was supposed to find out this past Friday which high school she’ll attend, but the powers that be missed the deadline. If it’s the bottom-tier school, her mother promised to find someone who can get H past the ridiculous “miss the top school by one point and get tossed down to the bottom school” policy.
At this point, money is no object. Literally. I know whatever number her mother says they ask for will be bumped at least 50%, probably 100%, with the difference going into her pocket.6 I don’t care, just make sure H is, at worst, going to the second-level school.
My only other concern is, if we have a choice, is she better off at the ‘top’ of the second tier school, or the ‘bottom’ of the top tier school? The latter should push her to work harder, though there’s no guarantee.
I’m pretty sure H will go for the stretch.
Wish her luck.
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The deed; formerly called the Red Book.
In Việt Nam, everyone — citizens, expats, tourists, business travelers, etc. — must be registered with the police each night. It’s a one-time thing for those who live in a fixed address; for those not owning or on a lease, it’s a nightly thing. Every hotel must register every guest with the police every night. If your boyfriend/girlfriend sleeps over one night, technically, you must register them with the police. A few years ago, when a friend and I were wild camping, the police came by and gave us a very hard time for hours because we had not pre-registered our campsite with them.
Fix is in quotation marks because without them, it would mean the system is broken. As many say about the cruelty that’s rampant in the US these days, “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.”
See footnotes 4 and 5.