Curb Your First World Expectations
As Dorothy said, "... we're not in Kansas anymore."
This Substack is about life in Việt Nam from the viewpoint of a 10-year expat who spent his first 60 years in a low-context culture.
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As I go through life in Việt Nam, I am endlessly entertained by the expectations expressed either in-person or on social media by other expats who think they’re in Vietnam — or worse, “Nam”; or the worst, “the Nam”.
Please let me explain:
I live in the country of Việt Nam, which is its name for itself. To me, living in Việt Nam means assimilating as best one can while still maintaining one’s identity. My identity is a foreigner (in my case, a westerner) who will never fully fit in, regardless of how hard I try. This doesn’t mean I stop trying.
“Vietnam” is the western name for the country that most foreigners will never even begin to understand; the great majority of whom don’t even try.
Most foreigners, including me for the first three or four years, live in or visit “Vietnam” — a country where the people, food, and traffic are all very different than at home, but where things “should be better/different, if only ‘they’ tried harder.” They want it to be a lot more like the country they left than the country it actually is or ever will be.
Those who call it “Nam” or “the Nam” apparently think the US film industry’s numerous racist and degrading depictions of Việt Nam when depicting their versions of the American war here are/was reality. Their attempt to be “cool” by using the grunts’ pejorative is right down there in the gutter with the use of the term “ ‘Merica!” by some for their bastardized vision of the US.
Back to those who live in “Vietnam”…
The poster children for “Entitled”
Multiple times every week, new social media posts sprout up saying things like,
You’re a guest working in the country and you whinge because your Temporary Resident Card (TRC) isn’t laminated to your satisfaction??? That sounds like a first-world problem, to me.
Some people get it, too many do not.
Note: The lifetime license referred to below is one only obtainable by taking both a written (only in Vietnamese) and a practical test. You actually qualify for a driving license under the rules/laws of Việt Nam.
The expiring license he mentions is a reciprocal license you get by filling out some paperwork, copying your passport, passing a “physical exam”, and getting a government-approved translation of your home country license. It expires when either your home country license or your TRC expires, whichever comes first. The entire process takes less than two hours over two days and costs 705,000 VND (US$28.20). I renew mine every two years immediately after I get my new TRC, and did it again without assistance earlier this month.
So what if you1 choose2 to see it as annoying? You could also choose to see it as a slightly inconvenient or as a chance to get out and interact with a few locals, which I’m guessing these guys avoid unless the locals are attractive young women or serving up their occasional bowl of phở.
It’s Việt Nam, NOT wherever you came from or lived before.
And, if the universe is just, it never will be what you want it to be.
Apparently you forgot, it’s aggravating af where you came from, too, you’re just used to it. For example: I just spent 40 minutes on the phone with American Express in the US trying to understand why, after verifying my identity, their computers still disallowed a charge that was ~5% of my available credit AND they’d approved a larger charge earlier in the day. The final answer was “I don’t know why it did that.” I’d rather deal with rules that are plain and simple than those that are stupid and opaque.
“Ugly American” should be adapted for other countries, too
Some here even complain to the local English-language “press”,
“I am a foreign tourist from Australia, the worst thing at your airports and for that matter, outside as well, is people coughing without covering their mouths!”
In his message, [Steven] Johnson recalled a short flight from Hue to Ho Chi Minh City during his trip to Vietnam in February for the Lunar New Year holiday.
“A guy directly opposite me in an aisle seat coughed the whole flight,” he recounted.
“Not once did he cover his mouth, spraying his germs everywhere that evening.
“And yes, I got sick the next day.”
I’m guessing Steven also was at a loss as to why so many Vietnamese and expats wear face masks in public. I’d love to be there when he first notices the omnipresent in-public nose mining (Seinfeld would be horrified).
A few days later, the same English-language rag posted a follow-up article in which more foreigners trashed the Vietnamese people:
The author didn't mention cutting in line, blocking security entrances, crowding ticket desks, pushing in lines, shouting at strangers, kicking others, refusing to follow the commands of immigration officers and fighting flight attendants… They also have no environmental awareness and are selfish in all facets of life.
Were they to study the culture, they would understand most of the “selfish” behavior as a result of the tribal nature of the society.
This time, the hit piece also included some foreigners speaking in defense of the locals:
“Foreigners coming to Vietnam looking for an authentic experience of life in Vietnam, and then complaining when they experience it,” Rob Lock wrote.
“Every culture is different,” commented someone under the name Out of Office, while Neil Connell pointed out that “a different culture does things differently – Who would've thought?”
Scott, Rob, and Neil are doing their best to live in Việt Nam.
My favorite of the past weeks is this guy whose child was born in Vietnam to foreigner parents who assumed that VN has the same citizenship rules as their (at least his) home country.
Joel has the right answer; there are no anchor babies here.
Why wouldn’t you check BEFORE the child is born to see what your options are?
I will never have another child, yet I’ve known for years what the law says about this and that even if one parent is a Vietnamese citizen, they change unless you get the child a Vietnamese passport first.
Are you f-ing kidding me?
How’s this next one for cultural ignorance?
Dunning-Kruger for the win.
This is a country where every temple has signs asking visitors who wish to enter to wear modest clothing that covers their knees. You know every one of those classless females has visited at least one temple ‘cause that’s a must-do for tourists here, the same as no one has ever gone to Europe as a tourist without visiting at least one cathedral.
I’m wondering if they would, in their home country, walk the streets (hmmm…) miles from any beach in a thong. Maybe they would, but this is not there.
This is a country in which published photos of women in bikinis are pixelated as above and some scenes in movies shown on HBO and in theaters are either pixelated or removed altogether so as not to offend the locals.
The male version of this can be seen on almost every walk through the tourist areas of Saigon where you’ll see at least a few foreign men walking around sans-shirt, never thinking,
Even though it’s hot af, I don’t see the local men walking around without a shirt, so maybe I shouldn’t…
If you’re not a working girl/guy on Bui Vien or other tourist-centric area of the country, put some pants/shorts and a shirt on, ffs. Watching even two minutes of the linked-to Bui Vien video, will reveal that these bikini-wearing muppets are under-dressed even compared to the go-go dancers, the “hello girls”, and massage girls.
A possible “fix”?
I starting to think that after the safety briefing on all international flights they need a cultural awareness video for the destination country. To make sure everyone pays attention, the Customs/Immigration cards passed out on-board would have two or three questions answered in the video that, if you don’t get them right, you have to go into a room off to the side of Immigration and watch the video again ‘til you answer correctly.
For the US, the questions could be about “stand your ground” laws and how to buy an AK-47 knockoff.
For Canada, they could be about how many times a day to say, “Sorry.”
For Asia, they could be about how much public skin is too much.
For Israel, they could be how to get free waterfront property in Gaza or a free house in the West Bank.
Sorry.
Not sorry.
As frustrating as it is to see all this here, it’s to the point in a neighborhood in Athens that digital nomads are told to “FUCK OFF” for directly and indirectly ruining the locals’ quality of life.
In case you’re wondering, I used to get p-o’d at these muppets who come here and act as if they’re in a much less-expensive version of whatever run-down trailer park they’re from.
Now I just smile sadly and shake my head.
Be a traveler, not a tourist.
The Royal You, of course.
That we choose every single one of our emotions, whether we know it or not, might be a topic covered in a later post. Thank you, Jorge!